| if you liked school, you'll love work |
[Monday, 11 23, 09
@ 8:09p] |
so today was my first day of work. work work, where you have to wear shoes and pants and go to an office and put a card in a cute little clock.
guess what the first thing i did was.
no?
it involves alcohol and a whole lot of rubbing.
today i learned that i should wear my glasses, even if i look like ugly betty when i wear them.
i also learned that i cannot climb six floors. at least, not comfortably.
and i learned i should bring more cereal, and winter gear.
i loved school. does that mean i'll hate work?
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[Sunday, 9 13, 09
@ 10:03p] |
minsan napapabalik dun sa iniwan na (akala mo lang pala yun) tapos napapaisip napapaisip napapaisip
sige isip pa
kasi yung binabalikan nasa isip mo lang yun, kathang isip mo lang yun. kahit ano pang tingin mo na maganda o pwede pwede pwede lahat yun wala kasi lahat yun hindi totoo. kaya tigilan mo na kasi lahat yan malalagay mo sa isang kahon tapos isara mo itali mo gumamit ka ng makapal na makapal na packaging tape tapos ito, wag mo tong kalimutan, kuha ka ng marker, yung malupit, yung di nabubura. tas sulat mo sa lahat ng gilid pati sa taas at baba: kalokohan
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| the four right chords |
[Tuesday, 7 21, 09
@ 8:42p] |
so you know how songs can drive you crazy? i mean, like, you just hear a song and all of a sudden you're back some two years before, or maybe just a few nights ago, whatever, you're transported. you forget where you are and what you're supposed to be doing because you're feeling exactly how you felt when you heard the song before. so yeah this can be very good, and it can also be very bad. for instance. last night i was early at the station, and i was feeling kind of, ugh, cause it's really not cool to be that early with nothing to do. but then, pontri played girl from mars and then all of a sudden i felt almost good, like, i dunno, i just let the song hug me. but then, this morning, i heard use somebody, and all of a sudden i was there in the middle of that crowd of strangers and you crumpled against me and started crying and hell it was depressing. okay it was more than depressing. it was so depressing i spent the rest of the day playing the song over and over hoping to squeeze all its powers out.
it didn't work. come back.
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[Tuesday, 5 12, 09
@ 11:24a] |
may mga sandali na akala ko okay na steady na tas biglang susulpot pakonti konti tas dadami parang yung mga pakipot na pasok sa tugtog sabay biglang lalakas tas yun andun na wala ka nang magagawa kundi makinig manood parang wala kang takas.
ang sarap magbasa.
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| sakit |
[Tuesday, 4 21, 09
@ 12:45p] |
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gusto ko lang mag share ng sakit ng katawan. kagabi patawid sa emerald avenue o garnet ba yun basta galing station papuntang mcdo nadulas ako tas napahiga sa maputik na kalsada. buti nalang nasa pedestrian lane ako. pero yun ang sakit ng katawan ko ngayon at marahil may putik pa sa likod ko. hindi naman sa hindi ako naligo. naligo ako kaninang mga kasabay ng pagsikat ng araw, iniisip ko baka habang naliligo pwedeng hubarin yung kahapon. pero hindi naman talaga kasi parang andun parin ako sa kahapon, pati sa nung isang araw, at yung araw pa bago nun. ano pa nga ba. masakit yung gitna ko, sa loob, may parang pinipisil at parang hinuhugot at parang sinusunog. masakit yung mata ko. masakit paa ko.
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| From Em |
[Monday, 2 2, 09
@ 4:06p] |
Here's the deal:
1. The first 5 people to respond to this post will receive something handmade/homemade by me.
2. My choice for you.
- I will make no guarantees that you will absolutely love what I make you.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It will be done this year (exactly when, I am not sure, I'm quite a busybee!)
- I will give no hints as to what it might be.
- I reserve the right to create something extremely strange.
3. The catch: You need to post this in your journal as well. C'mon people. It's a new year. We can all afford to share a little creative wealth.
Please remember to e-mail me your complete shipping address at pleasesleep@gmail.com :)
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| speculation on feeling like a speck |
[Wednesday, 5 28, 08
@ 1:25p] |
i'm lost without a routine, or without someone demanding action from me (or inaction as the case used to be)
i can't even say "i feel rejected" because it feels more like i'm not even being considered. how's that for angst?
i wish i could go with the flow, but i'm so up in the air and far from your stream of consciousness.
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| Vacation Angst |
[Saturday, 5 3, 08
@ 5:24p] |
| [ |
mood |
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losing language |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sky rumble |
] |
vacation gives me angst. there are too many lulls that allow me to consider the possibilities. i ponder so much that half the time my ideas don't even make it to speech, much less deed. please employ me. please admit me. or else i will really go crazy.
last night csi was on in the background of my trying to sleep.
i have found the perfect way.
*wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
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| The Angry Leavers |
[Saturday, 4 26, 08
@ 11:44a] |
so you say i've become mean, i know i have, and i know i'm responsible for my actions reactions inaction, but can you blame me? if i am a doormat beneath all this emotional baggage, well let's just say at this point the fucking "bags" are piled way too high for anyone to step over me. so this is what being mean feels like. i'm sorry but i think i'm allowed to be this way, for once in my life.
at the same time all this guilt is weighing me down, do you know what this feels like? my heart is in flames and my lungs are filled with water. i am clinging to a blade of grass while balancing on shards of glass. i am so consumed by this new feeling i won't even try to avoid rhyming. i want blood. i want tears. do you know what this feels like? you do?
okay then. tell me now that i should keep my cool.
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| My Daily Act of Rebellion |
[Thursday, 4 24, 08
@ 12:11p] |
Hanging the clothes on the line
NOT ARRANGED BY SIZE AND COLOR!!!
(but i'm the authority, too)
i would have goodjobverynicehighfived myself in the mirror but i forgot where the mirrors are in this house haha.
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| so says the computer. |
[Tuesday, 4 22, 08
@ 12:10p] |
Your past life diagnosis:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Wales around the year 1300. Your profession was that of a warrior, hunter, fisherman or executor of sacrifices.
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Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You always liked to travel and to investigate. You could have been a detective or a spy.
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The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret.
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Do you remember now?
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| balik grade school |
[Tuesday, 4 22, 08
@ 12:52a] |
pasensiya,
hinahon?
hindi ko alam yung salita na yon
hindi ko gustong magising
para magsisi sa
kahapon
hindi sa nagmamadali
at di rin naman
hindi pumili
tapos na akong
magmuni muni
matagal na akong nagtitimpi
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| dahil sayang din pero magaling talaga |
[Friday, 4 11, 08
@ 11:36a] |
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si sir hildawa naging prof ko, hapon yung klase na yun ang klase ko lang sa araw na yun umaga, pero kinuha ko yun, elective yun, kompleto ko na talaga yung electives ko pero nung nag awol ako tinitingnan ko yung webpage ng dac tas ayun nakita ko na nagtuturo siya sa upm paminsan tas gusto ko kumuha ng kahit anong ituturo nya kasi siya yun eh diba tas minsan lang nga eh yun kinuha ko yung elective. philippine advertising ang graphic design. bago ng klase namin may isa pa siyang tinuturo, painting naman. gusto ko sana mag sit in dun pero nahiya ako pati wala akong pera pambili ng materials haha. ayun tuwing klase nagsasalabat ako kasi
dapat kape pero sa oras ng klase nakakadalawang kape na ako eh ayoko manginig at mas mabango ang salabat. hindi ako masyado nag effort sa requirements kasi nagkakataon lagi ko ginagawa kapag may kaaway ako eh mahirap yung ganun pati mas nageenjoy lang talaga ako sa lecture at kasabay nun eh thesis kaya syempre mas effort sa thesis. basta mababa yung grade ko dun sa class na yun pero pagkatapos sabi ko sa sarili ko pagkagraduate ko kakausapin ko si sir tas magpapasalamat pati kukulitin ko siya tungkol sa mga nasa blog nya. pero ayun wala masyado akong mabagal. o masyado siyang mabilis. sa susunod di ko na aantaying mawala yung mga sagabal (tulad ng professional relationship) o baka aantayin ko parin pero bibilisan ko maka graduate para hindi na manghinayan ulit.
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| Fill in the blanks. |
[Wednesday, 4 2, 08
@ 8:17p] |
| [ |
mood |
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secretive |
] |
| [ |
music |
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she's so young she's got the answers |
] |
( )
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[Monday, 3 31, 08
@ 4:54p] |
namatay yung prof ko na crush ko
tas
namatay yung pinsan ng kabarkada ko
bago nun namatay yung ka batch ko
bago nun namatay nanay ng kaibigan ko
bago nun namatay yung ka batch ng kaibigan ko
bago nun namatay yung dalawang kaibigan ng nanay ko
araw araw naman talaga may namamatay diba
pero bakit ang bigat bigat parin
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